color legend purple=new ideas
green=pictures, black=original text, red=page numbers
Billy's Mom the Superhero (or just Super Mom?)
Pg.1- Billy Loved his Mommy. She was amazing.
PG.2-One day Billy overheard his mom telling her friend that she had special powers (this is where in the picture shes saying something like I wish I had special powers but he doesnt hear the I wish part or something.)
(or should he hear her friend say Wow you must have super powers.?)
pg 3-"Did my mom just say she has powers" he thought, "she must be a super hero"
(pictures his mom in a superhero outfit)
Pg.4
As Billy pondered what this could mean he decided to get a second opinion.
pg5. He went to ask his wise older bother timmyif he thought their mom had super powers-
pg.6-"Sure Mom has special powers, and hippos can fly"
(in picture he sees hippos with wings flying over his yard and he's waving to them)
pg.7-"what kind of powers?" Billy asked
"Well with each kid mom gets a new powers. How else do you think she could tell when we are lying? She got that power with me,
pg.8-And when you were born she got the power to be in two places at the same time,
pg. 9-And with Maggie she just touches something and money appears" (of course pictures little maggie maybe 8 months old sitting, playing and eating toys and also pictures mom touching the kitchen counter and all these dollars and coins appear.)
pg.10-Billy thought it over, and it seemed to make sense but he decided to ask his most trusted adviser, his best friend Joe.
Pg.11-Joe said-"I never thought about it before, but I bet it's true. I think my Mom('s power is that she) can just zap up messes. That would explain why yesterday it took me, like, forever to clean up some blocks, and she had finished cleaning the whole house before I was even done"
pg.12-That day while Billy was at the park he thought he noticed something different... something he had never seen before.
(This is where he sees one mom with three kids in a line one is sparkling clean, one is half sparkling clean and half dirty as the mom is zapping of the dirt and the next kid is dirty, one mom is talking to her friend on the side of the playground and has her arm stretched to be able to help her kid up the playground, one mom has eyes in the back of her head, etc.etc.)
pg.13-Billy knew that if anyone would know if there mom had super powers it would be his dad.
Pg14-Billy asks his Dad if his Mom has super powers "Well son I think your onto something, there are a lot of things you mom is magically (mysteriously, strangely?) good at. And it definitely takes a super power to be a mom. Every mom is for sure a hero to her children. Maybe you should go talk to her about all this.
pg.16- So it was time to confront his mom and let her know he'd figured out the truth, but as he was walking into the kitchen he noticed she had burnt dinner -again. This made him think, surely a superhero would never burn dinner. Now he knew he really needed to talk to her and get to the bottom of this.
pg.17-As Billy shared all of his feelings, his Mom just sat there with a loving smile on her face.
pg18-Then she gently said, "Billy as much as I would enjoy having all of those super powers and trust me I would, I simply dont. The one power that I do have and that grows more and more everyday and with every child is how much I love you. And my love for you is the power that makes ANYTHING possible.
pg19 She gave him a big hug and as she did he knew that was the truth. (In the picure as she hugs him they glow, or green beams shoot out of them like a radar, to show all the love!)
pg.20-And Billy decided that love was the best super power of them all!
Pg.21-as the kid is turned away the mom does something with one of her superpowers, is picking up the couch to vacuum under it too predictable? or maybe the couch could be hovering, shes vaccumming with one hand and has her finger up to her mouth as if to say "shh" to the reader like its a secret.
pg22 what super powers does your mom have?
Optional second ending?
pg.16- "Every Mom has the power to love more and more everyday and more and more with every baby, a love that is so big it could fill the whole world and will never end."
pg.17- Billy gave his Mom a big hug and as he did he could feel that love his mom was talking about and knew she was telling the truth.
pg18-And he decided that love WAS the best super power of them ALL.
pg.19-What super powers does your mom have?
green=pictures, black=original text, red=page numbers
Billy's Mom the Superhero (or just Super Mom?)
Pg.1- Billy Loved his Mommy. She was amazing.
PG.2-One day Billy overheard his mom telling her friend that she had special powers (this is where in the picture shes saying something like I wish I had special powers but he doesnt hear the I wish part or something.)
(or should he hear her friend say Wow you must have super powers.?)
pg 3-"Did my mom just say she has powers" he thought, "she must be a super hero"
(pictures his mom in a superhero outfit)
Pg.4
As Billy pondered what this could mean he decided to get a second opinion.
pg5. He went to ask his wise older bother timmyif he thought their mom had super powers-
pg.6-"Sure Mom has special powers, and hippos can fly"
(in picture he sees hippos with wings flying over his yard and he's waving to them)
pg.7-"what kind of powers?" Billy asked
"Well with each kid mom gets a new powers. How else do you think she could tell when we are lying? She got that power with me,
pg.8-And when you were born she got the power to be in two places at the same time,
pg. 9-And with Maggie she just touches something and money appears" (of course pictures little maggie maybe 8 months old sitting, playing and eating toys and also pictures mom touching the kitchen counter and all these dollars and coins appear.)
pg.10-Billy thought it over, and it seemed to make sense but he decided to ask his most trusted adviser, his best friend Joe.
Pg.11-Joe said-"I never thought about it before, but I bet it's true. I think my Mom('s power is that she) can just zap up messes. That would explain why yesterday it took me, like, forever to clean up some blocks, and she had finished cleaning the whole house before I was even done"
pg.12-That day while Billy was at the park he thought he noticed something different... something he had never seen before.
(This is where he sees one mom with three kids in a line one is sparkling clean, one is half sparkling clean and half dirty as the mom is zapping of the dirt and the next kid is dirty, one mom is talking to her friend on the side of the playground and has her arm stretched to be able to help her kid up the playground, one mom has eyes in the back of her head, etc.etc.)
pg.13-Billy knew that if anyone would know if there mom had super powers it would be his dad.
Pg14-Billy asks his Dad if his Mom has super powers "Well son I think your onto something, there are a lot of things you mom is magically (mysteriously, strangely?) good at. And it definitely takes a super power to be a mom. Every mom is for sure a hero to her children. Maybe you should go talk to her about all this.
pg.16- So it was time to confront his mom and let her know he'd figured out the truth, but as he was walking into the kitchen he noticed she had burnt dinner -again. This made him think, surely a superhero would never burn dinner. Now he knew he really needed to talk to her and get to the bottom of this.
pg.17-As Billy shared all of his feelings, his Mom just sat there with a loving smile on her face.
pg18-Then she gently said, "Billy as much as I would enjoy having all of those super powers and trust me I would, I simply dont. The one power that I do have and that grows more and more everyday and with every child is how much I love you. And my love for you is the power that makes ANYTHING possible.
pg19 She gave him a big hug and as she did he knew that was the truth. (In the picure as she hugs him they glow, or green beams shoot out of them like a radar, to show all the love!)
pg.20-And Billy decided that love was the best super power of them all!
Pg.21-as the kid is turned away the mom does something with one of her superpowers, is picking up the couch to vacuum under it too predictable? or maybe the couch could be hovering, shes vaccumming with one hand and has her finger up to her mouth as if to say "shh" to the reader like its a secret.
pg22 what super powers does your mom have?
Optional second ending?
pg.16- "Every Mom has the power to love more and more everyday and more and more with every baby, a love that is so big it could fill the whole world and will never end."
pg.17- Billy gave his Mom a big hug and as he did he could feel that love his mom was talking about and knew she was telling the truth.
pg18-And he decided that love WAS the best super power of them ALL.
pg.19-What super powers does your mom have?
This is what I have come up with for the first draft of the book, all points are open for negotiation. Please feel free to use this as a jumping off of point, and lets see how we can make this work! Steve Holleman suggested that maybe you leave it a little vague because moms really do have super powers and the kid doesn't need to be disillusioned. What are ou thoughts on the two possible endings. Sequels could possible be My Dad the superhero, and make him a fireman, or police man or something, or my dad the something else like a superhero. And then my grandma the fairy godmother, and my grandpa the magician, or I dont know something like that, it may not have to be quite so correlating, as long as the titles are similar, people would know that they are together. Or whatever the title is, or maybe there is something else to make a series out of, or maybe not. It may be a one hit wonder.
11 comments:
Marie - awesome work here! I like so much about it. I like that he mistakes what he overhears his mom saying. I like that he is waving to the hippos that are flying. That is a fun picture in my mind.
I think maybe page 4 should be broken into a bunch of pages so there is an illustration to go with each description of a superpower. Or, I guess it could be in bubbles - all on the same page.
I like how he asks his brother and then goes to his friend.
I also like the part where he is walking through the park and imagining different powers in all the moms he sees. Very good.
I like how she burns dinner and that makes him a little confused.
I like the ending too. Maybe one suggestion is that on page 10 change the word "this" to "love" - so it reads: "And Billy decided that love was the best super power of them all!" But on second thought, I'm not sure.
Basically, I really like it. I'm already wanting more wondering how it can be turned into a series of books! :)
I want to read it to some kids and see what they think...
Can't you just imagine Gerald's colorful and fun illustrations for each page? Very fun.
Oh yeah - as for the title - maybe a question: "Did you know Billy's Mom was a Superhero?"
Or maybe: "Billy's Mom, Undercover Superhero"
Any other ideas?
I like the question title
?????????????????
Good IM glad you enjoyed it, it was a good idea for a book, I cant wait to see what Gerald can do with it, I was wondering about page 4 as well, I wasnt sure about the length but I guess its amount of words when you with little kids, not the amount of pages, I think it should be split uop as well. I like the change on page 10, already noted, as for sequels, I already put in the actual post some ideas, I dont know though. Im not sure how to word them or what would be best. A sequel on the mom or one for each family member, including the dog!? Lets get this baby rolling, Im so excited about it@!
Maybe we could keep the story the way it is, where you think the story has ended...and then on the last page you see the mom do some kind of superpower thing when the kid is looking another direction. It can be unclear whether it is his imagination or reality - and can lead to future books if we want...
PS I just told two mom's next to me about this book as I was blogging and they loved it! Great work!
So I have fixed a few things, like the wording when she talks to him she say "its not quite the way I would explain it, instead of she simply doesnt have them. and we decided that the way she gets the last power to make the couch hover is that she is pregnant, maybe either in the picture she could be showing, or that could lead to the next book. So what do you think? Did you read the book to the moms or just tell them the idea?
I think the addition is maybe a little too wordy, and maybe also it is a little too complex to get it all of a sudden that she is pregnant? I could be wrong, but I don't think people will care as much if she is pregnant or not - just that maybe she has any super power.
For the change in wording, perhaps either keep it the way it was, where she says she doesn't have the super powers, or change it where she chuckles and says, "that's not quite how it is." (i.e. take out "...I would explain it").
Those are my thoughts anyway.
I like the title "Super Mom?"
I'm thinking about that book "Mama's Purse" I don't think he needs to overhear his mom - just talk to his brother/friends about what she can do. I think instead of having her burn dinner (since she can do "everything") the disillusionment (is that the word?)should occur because she can't make the scrapped knee heal immediately - but he realizes that the love (hugs and kisses) make it feel a lot better. Okay that's my ideas so far - I'll post more later.
Marie,
The book sounds great, pg8 doesn't necessarily have to have burnt dinner; like for me it would more likely be a sink full of dirty dishes, the kitchen looked like a tornado hit it and a pile of laundry that needs to be folded. He just needs to see that mom doesn't always have everything perfect.
We love the book but are disappointed that you don't have the pictures all drawn yet. But since I'm still waiting for Gerald to do my work artwork, I don't think we should put anything else on his plate 'till he's done with that.
By the way, we all liked the first ending the best and the Mom definitely has to be using her powers to do something when the kid isn't looking.
Of course, you could end it with the whole family chasing after poisonous snakes or flying, biting iguanas, 'cause that's the dream I just had and I think it's an omen.
The end.
Craig, Monica, and Kids (except Shaelyn because she's still upstairs and hasn't gotten to read it yet, or hear about my dream for that matter).
check back often because the story is always changing and evolving and I need feedback on all of it!!
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